Life has been challenging for me. There has been many obstacles that I had to overcome. There are obstacles that I still have to make it through and there may be many more ahead. What I've found was that somethings aren't as bad as it seemed and somethings are as bad as it seemed. These things have shaped who I am as a person. In life you have to be able to cope with the worlds troubles. The better the coping skills the better and easier it is to move on but what happens when you don't have the skills or the tools to handle life situations? What happens when the love and support isn't available to you? How do you make it through when no one truly understands? What happens when your voice is taking away? Things are buried inside which become more and more toxic creating illness and diseases of many kind. How do you recover and heal from these things? What steps do you take? 

Right now I'm in a space where I can recover. Yes, it's still a challenge and it takes time but I've come a long way and is in the healing process. A lot of healing work has been done on my part. There are things that do not affect me the way it would have a long time ago. Accepting things for what they are or for what it was is part of the healing process. Changing what I can is another part. Deciding what to take on or what not to take on is something that has to be learned. Reprogramming my way of thinking is one of the tools I use to change my life. Although some of my thoughts and values are the same, there are some that has changed. The people and situations has to change, meaning it's okay to let go of some people and situations. Listening to yourself and your feelings helps. Questioning the reasons why you are feeling or reacting in a certain way. Is it out of fear? Is it out of jealousy? Is it because I feel pressured? Evaluating these things will help to determine why you do what you do. This will help you to make better decisions and choices. It may take a while to get use to but it's necessary and worth it.

Today I'm able to say what I want and need to say or what I'm feeling. Years ago I couldn't fix my lips to say it because of the fear and the pain that was there. Was taught that my feelings and well-being didn't matter. Saying what I felt and acknowledging the truth was wrong and would get me into trouble. Being the strong person I was, I would stand my ground but eventually I would become drained and exhausted. My value and self-worth would vanish. With my family it was dysfunction. Pretending everything was different from what it is was the case and still is till this day. It took years to regain myself back and was attacked again. Being the strong person I am, I stood my ground but eventually I would become drained once again losing my health and self-worth. I've been working to break this cycle. It's been very difficult but I'm still going and improving. Each time that I was drained the symptoms became worse than it was before. I had to find outside sources to be able to have support and knowledge to get me to where I am today. I needed people who understood and thought outside of the box. People who was doing better or was trying to do better in their lives. It was a whole new world and I felt a gigantic relief.

Because of what I've been though gave me the strength and courage to share this information with others in hopes of helping and healing someone else as well as myself. Sometimes finding your voice can open the door to a new life and a fresh start. It releases toxic things that's inside of you. Your voice carries great power!! To say what you feel, sing a song and to make passionate sounds is an amazing thing. It's one of the ways to express yourself and relieve tension. Why do people feel it's wrong to express yourself truly? Why do we feel that people will leave us or not like us if we speak and live our truth? Why do we hurt ourselves to protect others? Why do we believe that we are protecting them by being dishonest? What happens when the truth comes to the light as it always does? We've created a bigger problem than it was orignally. If we are going to hurt someone or ourselves it's better to hurt with the truth than with a lie, at least we can respect and heal with the truth. There's no healing with lies! The closest thing to that would be fake it till you make it, at least you're setting goals and striving to do better and be better. We can find peace in truth not in lies!